Health: Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped...

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 02:42 - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 556

You deserved it 4 027

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 855

You deserved it 57 632

By single - 08/08/2015 06:23 - United States - Houston

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 739

You deserved it 2 008

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 092

You deserved it 8 570

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 184

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 014

You deserved it 8 831

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 610

By dumping time - 25/11/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Aylesford

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 090

You deserved it 30 833

Toxic

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 23:01

Today, my girlfriend punched me in the face, then broke up with me because apparently she'd proved that I’m a pussy who won’t stand up for myself or fight back if attacked, so if we were robbed on the street, she wouldn’t trust me to protect her. What kind of logic is this? Good riddance, psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 023

You deserved it 2 742

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 025

You deserved it 7 727

ryannmichael 17

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:11

Then you'll know the debt is paid ??

pastel_fml 18

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:13

She must relate to the nastiness that is Cersei at the very least with that quote.

Comments

ryannmichael 17

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:11

Then you'll know the debt is paid ??

joe3_fml 15

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:58

A Lannister always pays his debts.

muzy 23

Sunday 12 July 2015 1:07

If I were you I'd sleep with one eye open, for the night is dark and full of terror...

miianah1 22

Monday 13 July 2015 13:07

The Lannisters send their regards.

pastel_fml 18

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:13

She must relate to the nastiness that is Cersei at the very least with that quote.

thisguy22 33

Sunday 12 July 2015 3:54

Wasn't it Tyrion who said that?

Amama_fml 30

Sunday 12 July 2015 13:50

Yeah, Tyrion said it to Cersei

Oblivion239 21

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:13

That was rather quick of her. At least now you don't have to worry.

Googolman 29

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:17

At least you realised it was a quote... otherwise it would have been kind of creepy.

imkool136 22

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:17

Choose trial by battle

Frechy 24

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:23

*combat

Kurby14 21

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:17

watch out OP. who knows what ideas she got from watching the show :/

SolarLunix 21

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:28

This would be a good time to move and change your name. You already called her psycho and lonely desperate girls only get worse!

gte225 11

Sunday 12 July 2015 22:59

People, not just women

jay_south 19

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:33

Just be careful at any future weddings.

muzy 23

Sunday 12 July 2015 1:10

The *insert ex's surname* send their regards!

nutellacake 12

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:36

Calling your ex a "psycho" tells me that you're probably an idiot and she's probably a normal person. And it's a good quote, you should know not to be a smartass after pissing someone off, ydi.