Love Awkward Clubbing tip - FML

Clubbing tip

Anonymous - - United States - Pocatello

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, and she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

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Freaked out

Anonymous - 24/08/2015 19:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

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Bad boy

PicklesMcRaptor - 25/03/2012 11:59 - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

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Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

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Don't even try

divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

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Anonymous - 02/02/2013 23:03 - Belgium - Schepdaal

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

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ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

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anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

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Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

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lonelyboy101 - 27/08/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

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dogpup4 23

Wednesday 6 June 2012 0:42

What a bitch. Badum-tsh.

snowman34542 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 0:46

Jenna marbles

casscass13 4

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:14

Jenna marbles!!!!

swimmiandrr 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:23

Watch jenna marbles genius

butterflyz1961 2

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:24

In Dogspeak she was telling you to go away.

imavelociraptor 6

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:29

It wasn't jennamarbles.... She would have given you "the face" lol

emstar828 4

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:57

Jenna Marbles!? =O

bearkat420 3

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:57

Haha you should of started barking back at her.

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 6 June 2012 5:59

Did you meow the second time around.

drummer_101 1

Wednesday 6 June 2012 6:03

jenna marbles...it will explain everything.

Fortitudine 3

Wednesday 6 June 2012 6:08

Well, if you didn't get it the first time.....

BookFeminist 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 6:08

They probably got that barking technique from Jenna Marbles' "When the Face Doesn't Work." You make animal noises to scare a person away.

Danilovesmusic3 1

Wednesday 6 June 2012 6:18

thats exactly what i thought

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a customer made a huge scene at work because all of our reading glasses are made in China, and apparently any "moral" person should be repulsed by that. FML

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Today, I caught my son and my wife’s daughter “experimenting” with each other’s privates. They’re not blood related and they are teenagers, so it’s maybe not too bad, but they’ve been raised together since they were roughly about 5 years-old, so it’s still too weird to really understand. FML

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Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

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Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

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Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

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Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML

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