Alcohol, Drunk and Health: Back on the wagon - FML

Back on the wagon

By photomark - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

agreeclassic 10 608

vote type 1 37 544

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By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

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By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

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By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

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Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

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By ripped - 11/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

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By Watchingmyfigure - 06/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

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By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

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By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

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Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

agreeclassic 917

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

MrSchneebly 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:03

Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month

davidisbeast 12

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:07

At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !

Comments

beebananaz88 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:42

At least it wasn't a hamster...

niniloka 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:55

you shit money!

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:58

Drunken piggy bank?

OfficeNinja 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:00

That's nothing! Just wait till you try to shit out the handful of thumbtacks you ate. Which by the way was my suggestion so your welcome. It was a great party.

The_Mooinator 4

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:02

Do you shit on homeless people when they ask for change?

perdix 29

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:21

Don't flush! Just take a few shots and earn a quarter the hard way.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:30

Big deal...I would've been impressed if you ate a quarter & shitted out 2 dimes & a nickel!

ZXDriver 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:31

Better than a nickel out your pickle.

sjhill 32

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:35

wow. if i had a quarter for everytime i'd heard that, i would have enough to pay for a bottle of antiseptic :P

sheethapins 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 17:37

Ok, when you play that game make sure you take the quarter out before you take the shot. Brian is coming over right now to show you how it's done.

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Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

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This is why man won't take off the jacket!

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