Your everyday life stories

D.C. Commuter - 22/03/2017 13:17

Today I got up early, caught the earlier shuttle to the metro, and happily boarded the first train that arrived. Enjoying my trip thinking of how empty the train was and how good I was on time, I slowly realized I was going the wrong way. Added 45min to my commute to turn around. Fml

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Protoskore - 22/03/2017 08:09

Today my boss demanded to who the new guy was and who had let him in. He was dumbfounded to be shown his own summary of the job interview with the man. He personally hired him 3 weeks ago. Fortunately, I've been with the company 9 years, so he only forgets my name on occasion. FML

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Scatterbrained - 21/03/2017 22:00

Today, myself and a co-worker had an aisle blocked because we were arranging new merchandise. A lady plowed her way through, scattering our work everywhere. She then yelled that we were lazy for having an aisle blocked and stormed off. FML

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Calculatroll!

Troll_Calculator - 21/03/2017 16:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I had a chemistry midterm. There were 15 math problems, but no matter how many times I pressed the "On" button of my calculator, it wouldn't turn on. There were no spare calculators. Later, I tried to show my friend that my calculator wouldn't turn on. I pressed the button. It turned on. FML

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"b1uejay" - 21/03/2017 12:51 - United States - Marysville

Today, I tried once again to talk to my boyfriend about his caffeine addiction. As he does any other time I bring it up, he got ticked off. He doesn't seem to understand that the $80 a month he spends on pop is a big deal. FML

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Dogpoo - 20/03/2017 19:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I kissed the guy I like. That would've been great, if his breath hadn't smelled/tasted like he'd chewed dog shit that'd been let sizzle in the sun. FML

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Kind heart, lonely soul

Anonymous - 18/03/2017 22:00

Today, I went to the city centre to intentionally smoke near homeless people so they'd ask me for a cigarette or two. In the last 2 years, this is the closest I could get to having a social life. FML

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Lemon. Rainbow - 17/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was sitting with my dog on a park bench, I had my hoodie on with the hood up. A lady came up screeching at me like a vulture, smacking the back of my head, until she realized I wasn't her daughter and just walked away without apologizing. FML

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That student who hates herself - 17/03/2017 11:18

Today, after spending the entire week stressing out over a test, and making sure to review absolutely everything, I came to the test only to find out that none of what I reviewed was in it, and only contained stuff that wasn't in the teacher's notes. FML

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Fruitcake_1495482183 - 17/03/2017 04:01

Today, I had a job interview. I arrived early so I sat in my car for a few minutes when I saw a truck backing up too close to my car and hits my bumper. I get out to inspect the damage and the woman who hit me gets out and introduces herself as the hiring manager. Think I'll get the job? FML.

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Stan017 - 17/03/2017 02:00

Today, I didn't know how Uber worked for first timers. Having a first time $10 discount, it stated I had to pay $3. The driver sounded so sad and disappointed about it, and I didn't know the company would pay the discounted amount. I felt bad for him so I gave him $10, overpaying by $10. FML

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MIT nitwit - 17/03/2017 01:01

Today I learnt that the IT job I applied for was simply given to a guy who has only been there for 4 months. I've been there for 2 years. FML

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"heyyeahyou93" - 16/03/2017 16:35 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today...i went to wake my boyfriend up with a blow job. i lift the covers just in time for him to fart right into my face...FML

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Anonymous - 16/03/2017 19:00 - Malaysia - Semenyih

Today, the ex-lecturer who I had a crush on invited me out to watch an orchestra performance with him. It got increasingly awkward as time passed, and he ran out on me during the intermission. FML

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EwNo - 16/03/2017 09:24

Today, I was sitting next to a girl in a talk. She sneezed, and I felt something hit my leg. Her lumpy snot was all over my bare knee. She was too busy panicking to get it off. FML

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deathtojarjar - 16/03/2017 07:06

Today, I fell out of a second story window because I locked myself out of the house and had to break in. FML.

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Jessica - 16/03/2017 02:08

Today, I'm 20 and got my phone taken away for not popping my dad's back pimple. FML.

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Colette - 15/03/2017 22:52

Today, my neighbors adopted a new dog and named it Ginger, which was the name of my dog that passed away two months ago. They constantly call her name, too. FML.

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Really? - 16/03/2017 05:00 - Australia - Chapel Hill

Today, I was called a prostitute and told to get help for suggesting men and women can bond over hobbies, and just be friends. FML

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Stan017 - 15/03/2017 16:00

Today, after 4 months working at my job, everyone including the new intern has a lunch buddy or lunch group, except for me. My lunch partners are books. FML

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HomelessForever - 15/03/2017 00:00

Today, my mother offered to buy me an apartment if I break up with my long-term partner. When he found out, he got mad when I told him I'd turned her down, because I was missing "a great opportunity." FML

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- 14/03/2017 22:11

Today, I'm at a point where the only guy, that wants to have sex with me is one of my relatives.

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HolidayForOne - 14/03/2017 12:00

Today, after months of saving up and planning with his office and friends, I told my boyfriend of 5 years that I'd booked us a surprise holiday to Berlin, as he's always wanted to go. His response was to tell me there's no way he could go because there's a new video game out the week before. FML

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Anonymous - 14/03/2017 03:32

Today, on the second day of my vacation in Jamaica, I slipped and fell, breaking my fibula and dislocating my ankle. Now instead of enjoying the beach, I get to enjoy the OR and a bedpan. FML

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Anonymous - 14/03/2017 00:00

Today, I received a gem piece of advice from my dad. "Never get your hopes up." FML

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whatever - 13/03/2017 14:25 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I live less than two minutes from my job. It took me almost 10 minutes due to an old lady in front of me, going maybe 5mph in a 35mph lane. FML

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drillintomyheadpls - 13/03/2017 19:12

Today, I have a horrible migraine. It's also the day work is being done under the house to fix the foundation, which means loud drilling right. Under. My. Head. I can't find earplugs, and with the migraine aura I can't see to drive anywhere to escape the noise. FML

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- 13/03/2017 04:15

Today, my costume came in for the upcoming show I'm in. It's a rather tight outfit, that really shows off my curves, so I showed it off to the girl I like. She said I look like I walked out of a sex shop. Not in a good way FML.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

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Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

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Today, my boys get in so much trouble, I don’t even bother checking on them anymore. Instead, every ten minutes, I yell up the stairs to stop whatever they’re doing, and every time without fail they guiltily apologise and try to blame each other/promise to fix it/swear not to do it again. EVERY TIME. FML

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Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

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Today, my boss asked me if I needed to stand in the corner while I thought about what I did wrong. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

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