Work

This is going to end well

By awkward. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 800

You deserved it 4 731

Zoom, there it goes

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 22:00

Today, my mom stumbled into my house, drunk and half naked, while I was in a Zoom meeting. My client said he no longer had an interest working with someone with such a disreputable home life, and offered to pray for our salvation before ending the call. My boss is going to eviscerate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 136

Plan ahead

By Elle - 14/05/2022 16:00

Today, my husband yet again procrastinated on a project for so long, that he now has to work during the weekend. When I asked whether or not we could still spend some free time together, he started ranting about how I ruin his career. He seriously thinks it's about us and not his horrible planning skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 157

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 14:00

Today, I got turned down for my dream job. Why? Because my ex phoned the company and told them how bad I would be for the job. He phoned me and said, "Now you know how it feels to be turned down." We dated for 2 weeks, 11 years ago. I'm now married and haven't spoken to him since we broke up, so I guess he's been stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 144

Thanks, I hate it

By CakeEater - 13/05/2022 04:00

Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 90

Wish you were here

By Pooped - 12/05/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my coworker faked having COVID so she could go on vacation. I guess she forgot that we follow each other on Instagram. I saw all her pictures of her drinking and at the beach enjoying herself. I’ve been doing the bulk of her work and staying overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 122

Lackey

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 12:00 - Australia - Batesford

Today, at 1 am, I got a message from a colleague, who I have never met, bossing me around requesting "immediately, ASAP" some information a monkey could've found online in 5 minutes. I told her that she sounded rude and unorganised. Ten minutes later, I got a mail from my boss asking me to apologise to her. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 309

Grind mindset

By SOPISSEDOFFOMG - 11/05/2022 16:00

Today, I found out that my promotion had been rescinded and given to someone else, all because I was on a pre-approved vacation. According to my boss, they need someone who's "committed to the company" for the position, and gave me a lecture on how if I keep being "lazy" and "unmotivated" I'll never get ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 116

Great first impression

By FirstImpressionist - 11/05/2022 14:00

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 143

Mad scientist type

By Anonymous - 11/05/2022 04:00

Today, and ever since my dad had to give up his rented office space, he now works on his equations on a big whiteboard where the dining room table used to be. He’s also one of those weirdos who can only concentrate properly without his pants on. The horrors I’ve seen several times already… FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 153

Don't get too comfortable working from home

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 06:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, just make sure to mute your mic in a meeting before doing anything… anything like flushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 1 035

Seize the means…

By Underpaid - 08/05/2022 12:00 - Canada

Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 104

Alcohol isn't a drug, it's a drink

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 10:00

Today, I was carded for trying to buy wine and was told the dates were faded, so they wouldn’t be selling it to me, since they suspected I was underage. I work at the vineyard that produces the wine, I’m the head vintner, and I made the wine in the bottle I wasn’t allowed to buy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 164

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I was working on a 12-page report. After 5 hours on it, I go over to YouTube to change background music. My boss picked this time to walk by, look at my screen, and grunt, "Hard at work, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 532

You deserved it 6 893

**** the 9 to 5

By misuw_ - 07/05/2022 12:00 - United States - Holland

Today, our sales administrator quit in the middle of the shift because he was tired of all the bullshit that was involved with running a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 170

Thanks guys

By ConfidenceShattered - 07/05/2022 14:00

Today, I walked past a group of men on my way to work. Instead of catcalling me, they made pig and whale noises at me, and yelled fat shaming comments. By the time I'd reached my building, I had been reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 344

Check your privilege, bucko

By nepotism gets you everything - 07/05/2022 20:00 - Australia - Epping

Today, while struggling to find a job that will accommodate my disabilities, an acquaintance ranted at me about how nobody wants to work hard, and they have to earn what they get. This chucklefuck works for his father, will inherit a multi-million dollar business, and bought his house from his aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 155

Slogging for nothing

By JoannaG25 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 242

You deserved it 4 081

Never work a day in your life

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 22:00

Today, it's the one-year anniversary of opening my own store. I love books and baking, so I turned my hobby into a career by opening a bookstore with a small cafe and bakery attached. I was not prepared for how hard the job would be, so now I hate my career AND my hobby as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 618

Toxic workplace

By schnegg - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Switzerland

Today, the firm I work at informed all the employees about our annual staff trip. So, we're going to a tomato festival and everything is already planned and booked. I'm allergic to tomatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 095

You deserved it 1 433

It wasn't me

By jpaylay - 05/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, I was framed for hacking a Facebook account. I’m a 17 year-old cybersecurity major. Really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 133

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got asked, “And you are…?” by a senior colleague while in a morning meeting at work. I’ve been working here for 3 months and I've already introduced myself multiple times to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 121

What the hell is this workplace?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 22:00

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 1 600

Et tu, Brute?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 16:00

Today, my boss, a treacherous weasel, threw me under the bus for a £300 mistake I made on my first day a year ago as an intern, trying to distract from his £12,000 fuck up from today. He got suspended, but my wages are temporarily reduced until the money from my mistake is paid back, all £300 of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 138

Never the twain

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 00:00

Today, after “talking” and flirting with my team lead for a few months, we started dating and I quit my job, which I really liked, and started working somewhere I didn’t just so we could be together. Now, two weeks after quitting, she breaks up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 1 239

The real problem

By Trouble - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at work, I was informed that my manager told the owner, "Everything wrong with my department" is me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 818

You deserved it 527

But I need it!

By InDebted - 02/05/2022 02:00 - United States - Kula

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 188

Looks aren't everything, but sometimes…

By notprettyenough - 02/05/2022 10:00

Today, I've been doing some of the duties of an ex-coworker who resigned a month ago. Now they've given her position to someone else, who doesn't even have the experience all because she "looks the part more." Apparently, I need to "get laser eye surgery, get on Jenny Craig, and buy 'curl tamer shampoo'" to get promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 143

For better or for worse

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Vienna

Today, I realized I didn't want to come home from a business trip because I like my job more than my husband. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 870

You deserved it 4 738

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 01/05/2022 10:00

Today, I got a verbal warning at work for "having a resting bitch face." I had a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 5 611

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 664

You deserved it 4 039

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning, he spent two hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after five minutes, then five minutes after that he was playing with the cat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 440

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 564

You deserved it 38 165

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 173

You deserved it 4 778

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 675

You deserved it 3 461