Family

Priorities, dude

really? - 26/03/2022 16:01 - United States

Today, my sister, who used to be my best friend, texted me asking why we never talk anymore. Hmm, maybe it’s because she stopped answering my calls, texts, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, psychic reachings, and every other form of communication since she got a new boyfriend six months ago. FML

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Petty bitches

Sad - 24/03/2022 16:00

Today, my mother passed away in the hospital. My sister and brother refused to tell me which hospital she was staying at so I couldn’t say goodbye. They blocked my number. This was all because apparently I was the favorite and they did this as a vendetta against me. FML

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Mummy's little boy

HadEnough - 24/03/2022 02:00

Today, I hate my toxic, bossy, narcissistic mother-in-law - who is currently visiting us. My husband spilt a little tea and almost had a panic attack over what to do if his mother found out. How did he turn out so normal despite having such a mum? FML

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He studied the blade

Anonymous - 20/03/2022 05:59

Today, I dropped and snapped a carving knife that’s been in my girlfriend's family for generations, and is used to carve the meat every Christmas. I'm a huge coward, so I hid it back in its box but when it gets taken out again Christmas Day 2022, I think I’m a dead man. FML

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Send help!

Anonymous - 19/03/2022 10:00

Today, it's my fifth month with my grandmother-in-law living with me and my partner. She's the most toxic, manipulative person I've ever met in my life. I have no idea when she's leaving. I literally run into rooms when I hear her coming downstairs so I don't have to talk to her. FML

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Not the expected outcome

Emm - - United States

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised, I punched my mom in the face when she screamed, "SURPRISE!" FML

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CBD FML

Anonymous - 15/03/2022 16:00

Today, I'm planning a long awaited trip to Australia to see family I haven't seen since before the pandemic. I use CBD for pain, and everything I've read contradicts itself. I have no idea if I can take it with me, buy it there, or have to get a prescription or whatever. I guess I'm going to be in pain the whole time. FML

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Paranoid android

Anonymous - 13/03/2022 10:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I hit my target weight for the first time since high school. As a result, my girlfriend refuses to hook up with me, because her slutty cousins are now too interested in me, and she assumes I'm leading them on. I've never met them in person, because they live in Russia. FML

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Remember the promise you made

Anonymous - 12/03/2022 02:00

Today, my mom decided to go against every promise she's made to everyone once again and left us in financial ruin. How? She took advantage of my kindness, and didn't pay any of the money she owes me for driving my car, and for so much more. I'm more than $2,000 in debt now. FML

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Think before you speak

Anonymous - 10/03/2022 14:00

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

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Unacceptable

MySisterIsA - 10/03/2022 00:01

Today, my ex-husband and the woman he left me for, also known as my sister, are getting married. On my birthday. My mom is gleefully helping plan the wedding. She seriously sees nothing wrong, and tells me to “stop being a Bitter Betty and be happy for your sister.” FML

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Splinter cell

Anonymous - 09/03/2022 00:01

Today, because of my inexplicable tendency to constantly get giant splinters in my feet, which generally take at least half an hour of tireless effort to remove, my family and friends have nicknamed me "Footy Woody." FML

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Don't mess with Texas

Anonymous - 08/03/2022 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé expressed concern for her mother's health and a desire to be with her in Texas. I called her mother, who is 69 years young and will outlive us all, and it came up that her brother's BFF, who my fiancé has been crushing on since she was a tween, just got divorced and moved back to Texas. FML

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I'm busy

Anonymous - 08/03/2022 08:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

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Consent

SirEnigM0nk - 07/03/2022 23:22 - United States - Riderwood

Today, during a Zoom meeting to discuss genetic disorders, my mom chose to share my challenges and experiences. I might have approved, had she acknowledged my presence and asked my permission instead of speaking before me. Thanks Mom. FML

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SirEnigM0nk

SirEnigM0nk 22

Monday 7 March 2022 20:55

Hello everyone, OP here. So to give a bit of background: our 14 month old was diagnosed with a relatively rare genetic defect which has contributed to her delayed development. My wife and I met with other parents whose kids have similar conditions to share our experiences and learn about treatment efforts. My mom was present, and though she has a right to speak her piece, she tends to speak off the cuff. She launched into my story without asking first. Further, she did so before my wife and I had a chance to share our daughter's story. So yeah, I felt thrown under the bus. Just a bit.

Grossed out

vomiting - 07/03/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

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Narcissistic

Anonymous - 07/03/2022 06:00 - Canada - Dundas

Today, my mom chewed me out, because my brother has been complaining to her that I don't talk to him anymore since moving out. We've never talked much, even when we were sharing a place! FML

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MY WIFE!

Fmlloser - 07/03/2022 00:01

Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML

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We live in a society

Anonymous - 03/03/2022 20:59 - United States - Steele

Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML

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Dominance

it’s mine too - 01/03/2022 06:00

Today, and every other birthday I've had, I shared with my cousin whose birthday is 4 days apart from mine. It would be totally fine if I had an opinion on the theme, invitees, and location. Only my cousin gets that privilege apparently. Oh and my presents, if she likes them enough. FML

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Smooth criminal

Anonymous - 28/02/2022 00:01

Today, my sister stole my credit card, used it to rack up a small debt, then told my mom she will pay me back in the future one day, “happily”. But not right now because she has better things to spend her money on. FML

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Hellworld

I’m scared - 27/02/2022 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, after my mother, who was a loving and gentle soul, died, I’ve moved in permanently with my stepmom, whom I’d never met. Her very first words to me were, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am your mother now. If you make even ONE mistake, I will literally rip your fucking throat out.” FML

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Feeling ignored

Anonymous - 27/02/2022 00:01

Today, I actually had to spell out to my parents that if you don't want someone to repeat the same thing several times, you have to acknowledge that you're listening to them. I've had several occasions where I said something to them 3-5 times, thinking they weren't listening, but then they snapped, "WE HEARD YOU!" FML

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Delusional

eyeroll - 26/02/2022 18:00

Today, my sister has been going on and on about how sexy her new doctor is. She’s been plotting to fake an illness just to see him again. When I explained that doctors are professionals and even if he were interested it would be unethical for him to say so, she called me a fat, jealous loser. FML

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Brand recognition

Okay doctor - 26/02/2022 10:00

Today, after a 20-minute conversation, I'm still unable to convince my grandmother that Tylenol and Acetaminophen are the same thing. I just graduated med school. FML

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Freeloadin' freewheelin'

Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

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Bitchy family

is that jealousy I detect ? - 24/02/2022 17:59

Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML

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But she's so wonderful…

Anonymous - 23/02/2022 00:00

Today, my parents are so in love with my ex, they still think it’s my fault she felt unloved enough to cheat with another man. They constantly try to convince me to take her back and become stepdad to the child she conceived with the guy she cheated on me with. FML

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Get a load of this guy?

Anonymous - 22/02/2022 22:00

Today, my father won't let me sleep in the same bed as my fiancée, because, "God dislikes indecent things." I've been with my fiancée for over 5 years. My father came to live with us months ago, because his now ex-wife sacked him for cheating on her and scamming her. FML

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Due diligence

whoops! - 20/02/2022 06:01

Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Get back to work, you!

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Today, I went to see Ghostbusters: Afterlife. A family talked through the whole movie, phones on, watching YouTube videos, totally interrupting the experience. FML

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Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

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Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

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Today, I've come to accept that while my family claims to be supportive of my disabilities, they become completely ableist whenever they're the source of the problem, or if my problems otherwise have a direct effect on them. I have no real friends in this world. FML

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Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

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