Family

On the lam

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 00:00

Today, all three of my kids snuck out of a family reunion because they were bored. I was furious, until I found out my husband had also gone with them. After I was done yelling at all of them, I realised I was mostly jealous they didn’t take me with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 1 108

A pot to piss in

By chamberpottime - 16/12/2015 08:58 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 258

You deserved it 1 509

Good boy

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 134

Unacceptable

By MySisterIsA - 10/03/2022 00:01

Today, my ex-husband and the woman he left me for, also known as my sister, are getting married. On my birthday. My mom is gleefully helping plan the wedding. She seriously sees nothing wrong, and tells me to “stop being a Bitter Betty and be happy for your sister.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 128

You old fool

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 17:01 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after repeatedly telling my partner's family that our daughter is allergic to peanuts, his grandfather decided to feed her one, to "see if she really is allergic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 76

Creeped out

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 02:00

Today, I ran home because a guy I had never seen before got off the bus at the same time as me, and followed me almost all the way home. I was crying for my mom to call the police but my brother just snorted at me, because, “Only pretty girls have stalkers.” I wish I was an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 259

Late term

By disappointed - 10/12/2020 20:02 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I had to pick my son up from jail. He was pulled over for having a busted tail light, gave the officer his licence, realized he gave the officer his fake ID and then the dumbass gave the cop his real one. Is it too late for a vasectomy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 496

As it should

By What have I done? - 16/08/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 555

Adopt, don't shop

By Anonymous - 17/10/2022 00:00

Today, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year, with no success. My husband's unemployable brother and (still legally married to another man) fiancée announced they are expecting. They have 7 kids between the two of them already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 148

Worth it

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 22:58

Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 103

Great parenting, mom

By kat99 - 15/03/2021 21:30

Today, as always, I have autism and it is physically painful for me to make eye contact. I read that you can solve this by looking at the person’s ears or nose. Except my mom can somehow tell when I’m doing this, and she yells and screams at me for not looking her in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 134

My kingdom for a lock

By IAmJacksDeflatedHappiness - 19/10/2021 23:00

Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 118

Shit!

By SingleSara. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know three hours ago, before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 467

You deserved it 3 540

C/A unt

By Anonymous - 04/01/2023 03:00

Today, I had to listen to my ridiculously judgmental aunt bitching about how America “let a criminal back onto the streets” because Brittney Griner (or “that bitch”, as she called her) “couldn’t be a decent person”. I can’t believe I share DNA with this cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 1 124

Are the straights OK?

By ok sure - 23/05/2023 00:02

Today, my daughter is almost never included in activities my family has for their daughters. I’ve been told mine is “too wild” and “unladylike” because she likes being barefoot, climbing trees, and playing with animals. Meanwhile, they have their 10-12 year-olds in weaves, acrylics, makeup, and heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 115

My house, my rules

By lordoftheweird - 06/01/2024 06:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 148

STOP TALKING

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 22:00

Today, my in-laws are so much "know it all better than you" that my father-in-law started trying to convince me that he knows how much chilli I need in my soup better than I do. I had to raise my voice to almost screaming level at him to stop. I'm 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 161

Unloveable

By keerah - 19/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I came to find out that each person I've ever dated was either set up by my dad or by my sister. I'm fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 138

Anglican you keep it down?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 204

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 20:00

Today, my mom told me my aunt was coming over. I told her I might have to work, and would be sad to miss her. My mom said, "Or, you know, if you're not there, it might be nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 261

Whatever could she be talking about?

By Terrence - 12/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my sister asked me if "the worst comes to the worst" she could come and live with me here in the UK. She's in the US, and due to all the shit that's going on over there, her health insurance and job security are on the line. Weirdly, all her "yeehaw MAGA" posts have disappeared from her socials. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 171

The Oracle

By Kevin - 14/08/2022 00:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She has early onset dementia, butt was a pretty OK day. All was going well until she looked at her son and said he was skinny, which admittedly he is quite skinny, but then looked me dead in the eye and said, "You need to lose weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 234

Helping hand

By Betriz - 14/08/2023 06:00

Today, I walked in on my live-in sister masturbating my husband. He currently has injuries on both arms and they’re both in a cast. She told me he was “horny” and needed to “take some pressure off” so she wanted to “help” because she "was home at the time.” They both seriously see nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 158

Non-subsidized

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 16:00

Today, I tested positive for COVID. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except my entire family has now fallen like a stack of dominos, and despite being asymptomatic, I now have to quarantine. My work stopped doing COVID leave in November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 148

Thanks, but no thanks

By rick - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Roanoke

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 694

You deserved it 3 636

Brotherly love

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 22:00

Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 109

MY WIFE!

By Fmlloser - 07/03/2022 00:01

Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 108

The nerve

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 08:00

Today, my biological mother, who abandoned me at the hospital the day I was born, turned up at my son's birthday party, demanding my bone marrow to treat some disease she has. When I outright refused, she tried to ask my son for his marrow to, “save granny’s life”. He’s 5 and now won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 137

Tony Soprano?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - York

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 687

You deserved it 8 737

Help out!

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I’ve been doing our family tree, it's become clear to me that every man who has married into my wife’s family for at least 4 generations has died within 15 years of the wedding. It’s our 13th anniversary next month. Two years to go. Someone help me by keeping their fingers crossed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 74

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 310

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 345

You deserved it 4 285

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 607

You deserved it 3 426

Today, as part of his quest to annoy me, my husband pointed out that for every Disney movie I love, it was someone on the animating team's job to animate the boob jiggle physics, as in it was literally their job to animate how the breasts of Ariel, Elsa and Belle move. So many movies ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 482

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 202

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 40 775