About Tessa1110001
Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it ?
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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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    16%
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    78%
  • YDI Master

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    16%
The list of badges to find
Tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

By yamsterr - / Monday 12 March 2012 16:27 / United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

By anonymous / Wednesday 14 March 2012 05:18 / Canada

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 12 March 2012 04:16 / United States

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

By dumbfriend / Monday 12 March 2012 19:48 / United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

By CierraJordan / Wednesday 14 March 2012 11:31 / United States