About Shelbygordon44
I play most sports, I'm not really picky as to which sport I like to watch and play. I also love music. I play guitar and drums. I'm proudly a band nerd. I'm lead vocalist and backup guitarist in a band. Avenged Sevenfold rules the world; RIP Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan.
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Shelbygordon44's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML

By Damn_her - / Thursday 5 March 2009 00:04 / Canada

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

By morethanredhands / Monday 21 May 2012 05:56 /

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

By lafinesse - / Monday 14 May 2012 22:23 /

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

By me - / Saturday 14 January 2012 01:38 / United States

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

By doctorsandnurses - / Friday 13 January 2012 10:47 / United Kingdom