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Mollyfinnigan78's favorite FMLs

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

By what's a rimjob between friends? - / Friday 6 September 2013 21:42 / United States - Boston

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

By GotMyBitchBack / Thursday 5 September 2013 11:02 / United States - Zanesville

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

By Hannahb17 - / Friday 23 August 2013 22:21 / United States - Phoenix

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

By dear god help me. / Wednesday 4 September 2013 22:46 / United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 3 September 2013 04:13 / United States - Woburn