NoDontKillMe

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About Nodontkillme
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
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Nodontkillme's FML badges
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    73%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    80%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    7%
The list of badges to find
Nodontkillme's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

By -__- - / Sunday 11 August 2013 16:26 / Greece - Athens

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 6 August 2013 06:19 / United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

By mcdonalds / Tuesday 6 August 2013 04:11 / United States

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

By dirtythief - / Thursday 18 July 2013 16:01 / Philippines - San Juan

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

By So little trust. - / Friday 12 July 2013 23:18 / Canada - Coaldale