Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56095) - you totally deserved it (3946)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
The irony here is that if you hadn't wasted time with the TP seat cover, you would have been done and out of the bathroom before the bump.
#2 - On 04/20/2009 at 10:35am by ForestFire0
i think people get wayyyyy to worried about what their ass skin touches. it's much more gross what your hand touches, and then touches your mouth. i think people who hover over the toilet and sprinkle it with pee are much more annoying than the countless "dirty strangers" who actually sit down.
#4 - On 04/20/2009 at 10:38am by curious2090
what if someone has herpies? you never know that's why you use toilet seat covers.
#113 - On 01/09/2010 at 8:14am by metro_mello
TAAAAAAAAAAAASTY!
Too bad it's fake.
So if you weren't in the bathroom at the time.. it would have spilled inside the bathroom like it's just some normal occurance for a coach bus to spill toilet contents when it hits bumps.. If this is so, shouldn't there have already been piss and shit on the floor everywhere?
#5 - On 04/20/2009 at 10:42am by rukusrazor
Hitch up skirt, hitch up vulva and away you go. learn to piss standing up, they used to have urinals for women... it can be "mastered"
I'm sorry, that's awful, but at least urine is sterile.
#16 - On 04/20/2009 at 10:58am by livigurl100
you can't hold it from ny to boston?
i mean i guess thats not much your fault but thats not a long trip... at least flush the thing before you use it
failure of common sense
#17 - On 04/20/2009 at 11:05am by guitardedman
And this, ladies, is why it's not worth the trouble to line the toilet seat before sitting down. No one has ever died from sitting on the same seat that someone else sat on. If it bothers you so much, carry some antibacterial wipes. :)
#19 - On 04/20/2009 at 11:14am by Ohnoitslindsay
That's why you HOVER! If people in other countries can pop a squat over their hole in the ground type toilets (which are difficult for Americans to master), then you can hover a few inches off the seat of the toilet and aim.
#20 - On 04/20/2009 at 11:34am by ffpoisongirl
never been on a bus with a toilet...why do i feel like i'm the only one?
#21 - On 04/20/2009 at 11:37am by RNorthlandLGB
so are you trying to say that you were lookin at shit and pee in the toilet while you took the time to put down 20 squares of tp? but couldnt take the time to flush it?
that's gotta be a little gross ay? I'd get that shit checked out :P
#23 - On 04/20/2009 at 11:52am by DizzyDemon0
Neither Greyhound nor Bonanza have toilets that flush-- it's just seat over a hole over a container of nasty sloshing around four feet below you. Like a porta-potty, but on a moving vehicle.
Learn to hover. Also I think this is fake, you would have flushed down that poop/pee by the time you'd have finished laying the paper down. If it had no flush, then yeah FYL.
#26 - On 04/20/2009 at 12:00pm by purplestuff
This used to be a great site before people started posting made up stories. As #5 already pointed out, this one would've only happened if the crapper on the bus was malfunctioning, leaving obvious hints all over the place.
Actually, you have hardly any chance of getting a disease from your butt having contact with a normal toilet seat. Unless you rub your orifices vigourously over the surface of the toilet seat, you have a very small chance of getting something. It's been proven that you get more disease from using the doorhandle out of the bathroom.
However, you'll get a shitload of diseases by being splashed by shit.
#31 - On 04/20/2009 at 12:43pm by thequeenofscots
Why didn't you flush it before, it's noticeable on those buses.
I've been on them, it's empty if it's flushed when you use it....so YDI
learn the sitting squat! (hover) that is common sense, if you would have learned it you could have been out by the time you covered it with the toilet paper. YDI
#37 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:30pm by kwbuzz23wk
I've ridden a bus from Columbia, MO, to San Antonio, TX, and none of the six buses in our convoy had flush toilets. And with a bus bouncing around like it does, you would NEVER want to pee standing up or you'd get it everywhere!
If I have to use a public bathroom, IF. I always stand up, I have mastered that
#40 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:44pm by tinkerbella
actually you can get herpes from sitting on a public toilet...yeah fuck that
#42 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:58pm by ohboyscott
fake beyond belief. Bus "toilets" don't slosh around like porta johns. They are sealed closed like airplane bathrooms. Lied just to get "published" on FML. Shame.
#43 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:58pm by whattayacare
Hahah welp, that's shitacular.
Wouldn't want to sit by you
#44 - On 04/20/2009 at 2:41pm by MaiLouIsLegend
YDI. As a rule, don't go near bathrooms in buses. Piss before leaving and you should be able to wait at least a few hours before going again, unless you have a serious bladder problem.
#49 - On 04/20/2009 at 3:55pm by elfuzzo
and that is why i only go to the bathroom at home. when no one else is around and when its appropriately cleaned.
OCD, yuck
Not every bus has toilets that can flush. I've been on plenty that have toilets that can't.
#51 - On 04/20/2009 at 4:02pm by RandomFool
Man, that's so gross! I get grossed out when I poop and the water from the toliet splashes on my butt... I'd die if that happened to me.
nasty. go get some shots asap just in case. Next time stand up or hover. Be sure to drip dry when you're done. This avoids you having to touch anything but the door in a bus/air plane toilet.
#55 - On 04/20/2009 at 4:52pm by amykillswitch
Ive mastered to pee standing up, it isnt that hard actually.
or you can just hover.
either way ydi.
#56 - On 04/20/2009 at 5:01pm by ohhhhshizzz
let me guess... the Fung Wah bus? if anyone's gonna drive like that, it's them.
#57 - On 04/20/2009 at 5:24pm by sucks_for_you
I absolutely hate public toilets.
I avoid them unless absolutely necessary.
Also, Charmin makes toilet seat covers folded into a travel size container for your purse.
Which is awesome. And less time consuming than taking apart squares of toilet paper.
However, I don't believe this one.
I agree with #43.
YDI simply for not flying heh. But I call this one bullshit...
#61 - On 04/20/2009 at 6:03pm by Up24Hrs
first of all, why would you count how many toilet paper peices you put on the toilet seat *cough* weirdo
what i don't understand is why you wouldn't just flush the toliet before going to the bathroom. thats even more unsanitary. you deserve it definitely.
#63 - On 04/20/2009 at 6:21pm by amb22
I actually sympathize and I believe you. I travel enough to know ANYTHING is possible in those kind of bathrooms. Here's some advice, go to your doctor and get a blood test. Tell him what happened and get tested. That blue chemical liquid can carry hepatitis, among other diseases, airplanes won't even fly if any of that liquid is on the floor or other part of the restroom; it's a biohazard. And if you're a woman, I hate to be so indelicate, but was your "other" area also affected? Your butt skin is not likely to be an entry point for disease but mucous membranes are, if you know what I'm saying.
You deserve it for being so wasteful, I don't care how gross it is, just pee and get it over with. You're not going to get a disease on your ass from sitting on a public toilet seat.
#66 - On 04/20/2009 at 6:56pm by rachel_anna
i believe you, because duh, lots of toilets on buses don't flush. and i've ridden transit buses and trains enough to know that stuff can get everywhere. you would think a train would be okay, it being on a rail and everything. you'd be wrong. and can i point out, doing the squat on a moving bus would be very hard.
and yeah, get checked out, seriously, hepatitis can live outside the body for months.
#69 - On 04/20/2009 at 7:00pm by starvingxartist
these poop ones crack me up lol
And that is why I just hold it in no matter where I am. Im sure as hell not going to catch herepes from a damn seat. sorry for you.
#70 - On 04/20/2009 at 7:04pm by jumpgurl23
rofl I love that last line...why does it matter whether it was your own piss/shit or not??! hahaha
#73 - On 04/20/2009 at 7:39pm by SmoothTalker
lmfao thats why you don't use those bathrooms.
i took a school trip on one, and had to pee like a russian race horse..
i held it for two and a half hours and ran like hell to the bathroom
when we stopped haha.
you coulda avoided this my friend.
#75 - On 04/20/2009 at 7:50pm by hollisterhottiex
@76, thats how my friend's mom got a bladder infection. Its not healthy holding it on for a long period of time. Plus, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
@77 - And yet, there's no possibility of infection from the shit that just happened (no pun intended). =/
It's a four-hour bus ride, it wouldn't have killed her to either go before getting on, or wait until she got off.
#81 - On 04/20/2009 at 8:33pm by deliciouskaek
How nasty is that!!! I know some one who got a boil on their ass from sitting bare-bottom on a public toilet(it was in a subway station though, rofl). I don't blame you at all, I used to work in construction. I used to have to layer up the seat before taking a poo. Just for peace of mind. There are several types on infections you can actually get from sitting bare ass on a public bowl.
#81... it actually could do a lot of damage. I had a teacher who passed out from holding her pee to long. Instead, learn to pee standing up... or hover over the seat...
Haha, that sucks. I always just squat if I use public bathrooms- way easier than covering the seat.
#84 - On 04/20/2009 at 9:45pm by lovemyblueeyes
I feel for you. That's why I don't sit on them. I'd I ever have to, I cover the seat with a lot of toilet paper. Ugh. That's gross:(
#86 - On 04/20/2009 at 10:47pm by Funtertaining11
How does a bus "fly" over a bump? WHOOSH! SUPERBUSS!!!!!!!!!!
Must've sucked to sit in your seat after this shitty incident.
Sings "The people on the buss go up and down!" That's nasty. I am sorry!
#93 - On 04/21/2009 at 4:04am by lazydeviant
Numbers 2 and 4 are the bomb dot com. I thought I was the only one in the world who doesn't think it's deadly to sit on a potty that other people have sat on. I mean, if there are seat covers provided, I'll definitely use one, but seriously, we all got booties.
Hahahahahaha! Oh, I'm so sorry for you! But damn, you can't resist a good poop joke!
#95 - On 04/21/2009 at 5:37am by Milkinade
hahahaa. Ive never thought of that happening. More of the fact that I would go flying into a wall (Which has happened, many times) when we hit a bump. lol. ew fyl
#97 - On 04/21/2009 at 7:51am by jazminbliss
godd dammit so gross , I hate it even when that happens on my own crap
#98 - On 04/21/2009 at 9:47am by silentshout
that SUCKS. i'm sorry.
and 99 and anyone else who asked that, it was probably a porta-potty type thing.
#100 - On 04/21/2009 at 9:02pm by tinkerbell67
just confused about the whole being careful about germs but yet you don't flush the contents of other people's poop, you put your privates directly above it. It does smell like a fake. Unless those toilets don't flush for some reason?
Additionally, MOST women can't do the stand up pee. I've yet to see a seat not completely sprayed with their little princess pee while trying to protect themSELVES from OTHER people's germs. LIFT THE GODDAMN SEAT LIKE A MAN IF YOU WANT TO STAND UP LIKE ONE! Or just go find a fire hydrant why don't you.
Buses go over bumps all the time, and they pretty much travel the same route all the time, so if it sprayed that badly, it'd be all over the floor. I've been in the bathroom a Greyhound bus. The toilets don't flush, but it goes like four feet down to prevent splashing out. I've been on that Greyhound for over 24 hours, and the only time I went in there was because I felt motion sick. I was nine. They make enough stops that you really don't need to use the bathrooms.
ever heard of squatting?....unless your an old woman that can't squat -_-
#107 - On 05/28/2009 at 11:12am by PredyJessica
