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Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
The irony here is that if you hadn't wasted time with the TP seat cover, you would have been done and out of the bathroom before the bump.
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