Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zozohearts

Search for a member

zozohearts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3134
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zozohearts's page activity

Visits<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:37am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:07am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:31pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>elibel</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:35pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:19am<b>Lika1712</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:45am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:53am<b>bdonxtreme</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:26pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:43pm<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:36pm<b>DaiCarmuhh</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:13pm<b>savygirl367</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:43pm<b>asdx</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:12pm<b>SimplyEcks</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:06pm

zozohearts's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

#17458354
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (4922)

On 08/13/2011 at 7:45am - love - by Username - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (32126)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (4222)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (14328)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39517) - you deserved it (4127)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

#17452928
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (39709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (4413)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (4278)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (2880)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

#17444027
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (2235)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm - love - by Matt - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (4450)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (3832)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (32365)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46614) - you deserved it (4855)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (6502)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: