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zozohearts

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zozohearts
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2791
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

#17545314
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (3525)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:38am - kids - by Danielle - United States (New York)

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (50086)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55191) - you deserved it (6815)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (3058)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (36465)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

#17531904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (39476)

On 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by owmyhead (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (4811)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

#17530049
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (4814)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by Miguel - United States

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (7593)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (4424)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

#17526704
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58437) - you deserved it (3328)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (4347)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9812) - you deserved it (66859)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (2339)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)



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