zozohearts

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zozohearts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4960
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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zozohearts's page activity

Visits<b>DQFEdits</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:09am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 8:28am<b>kdgsmiley</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:12pm<b>sarahhhl</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:26am<b>_jack117_</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:59am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:59pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:00am<b>manowarkidd</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:37pm<b>TITOSJ408</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:50am<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:42am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:38pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Striker_Jr</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:24am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:37am

zozohearts's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

by Danielle / 08/22/2011 at 3:38am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

by heheheh / 08/22/2011 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

by xXangelaXx / 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

by owmyhead / 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

by Miguel / 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm / United States / Geek

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

by KiDCuSHi / 08/20/2011 at 12:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

by anonymous22kittylicklick / 08/20/2011 at 12:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous