Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zozohearts

Search for a member

zozohearts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3189
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zozohearts's page activity

Visits<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:37am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:07am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:31pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>elibel</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Lika1712</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:45am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:53am<b>bdonxtreme</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:26pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:43pm<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:36pm<b>DaiCarmuhh</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:13pm<b>savygirl367</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:43pm<b>asdx</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:12pm<b>SimplyEcks</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:06pm<b>GOLD3NxWARRIOR</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 9:15pm

zozohearts's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (2300)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (4688)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

#17588336
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15784) - you deserved it (19282)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (14590)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (5203)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (2807)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

#17565538
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17640) - you deserved it (14427)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

#17557483
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (8740)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (9557)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19987) - you deserved it (41679)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

#17547358
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (4576)

On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (2050)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: