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zozohearts

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zozohearts
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2798
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (4314)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

#17588336
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (17087)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17762) - you deserved it (13626)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (2880)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

#17565538
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15573) - you deserved it (13684)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (2974)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

#17557483
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (8475)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (8977)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18680) - you deserved it (39371)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

#17547358
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (4410)

On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (1458)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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