Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zozohearts

Search for a member

zozohearts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4310
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zozohearts's page activity

Visits<b>DQFEdits</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:09am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 8:28am<b>kdgsmiley</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:12pm<b>sarahhhl</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:26am<b>_jack117_</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:59am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:59pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:00am<b>manowarkidd</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:37pm<b>TITOSJ408</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:50am<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:42am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:38pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Striker_Jr</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:24am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:37am

zozohearts's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (27104)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (3858)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (3858)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (3313)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (3313)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (9817)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (9817)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (5690)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (9900)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (3312)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you deserved it (5169)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42656) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (14766)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

#17666390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (5921)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by stinky skunk - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: