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zozohearts

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zozohearts
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2794
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (21145)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (3373)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (3373)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (9020)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (9020)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22043) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (4625)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (12518)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

#17666390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by stinky skunk - Canada (Alberta)



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