zozohearts

Search for a member

zozohearts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5625
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

zozohearts's page activity

Visits<b>DQFEdits</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:09am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 8:28am<b>kdgsmiley</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:12pm<b>sarahhhl</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:26am<b>_jack117_</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:59am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:59pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:00am<b>manowarkidd</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:37pm<b>TITOSJ408</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:50am<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:42am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:38pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Striker_Jr</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:24am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:37am<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:37am

zozohearts's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zozohearts's favorite FMLs

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

by Not_you17 / 09/09/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

by monochrometea / 09/08/2011 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

by waj9876 / 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

by WishIWasAWriter / 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

by blue / 09/08/2011 at 4:23am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

by grossedout / 09/08/2011 at 2:34am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

by AudraRose / 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm / United States / Health

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

by sad / 09/07/2011 at 1:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Holidays

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

by Nublet / 09/07/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

by fmlsrslyahhh / 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

by stupidboys / 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

by ss / 09/06/2011 at 9:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous