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zombiejohn

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 6:11pm) | Search for a member

zombiejohn

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 376
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zombiejohn : Ain't nobody got time for that!!

I'm half Mexican and Puerto Rican.

I also have a kik. Its zombieroland :)

zombiejohn's page activity

Visits<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:25pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:38am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:57am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:10pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:57pm<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:50am<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:40pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:36pm<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 6:44pm<b>woainishamu</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:34pm<b>vertencar</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:06pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:19am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:00am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:54am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 5:48am

Liked!<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:38am

zombiejohn's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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zombiejohn's favorite FMLs

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (7251)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12736) - you deserved it (31163)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35495) - you deserved it (3704)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (19065)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (19065)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59537) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (32903)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10856) - you deserved it (79868)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (49723)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

#80589
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (12598)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML



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