Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

znorbnix

Online | Search for a member

znorbnix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3876
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.

znorbnix's page activity

Visits<b>ashesofempires04</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 4:55am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>EnEl_Infierno</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 12:26am

znorbnix's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of znorbnix's badges

znorbnix's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43772) - you deserved it (3877)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48454) - you deserved it (2726)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

#20729447
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (24892)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72784) - you deserved it (7204)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

#20724700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46874) - you deserved it (7031)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39801) - you deserved it (25060)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52975) - you deserved it (6489)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (23887)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63896) - you deserved it (3434)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62167) - you deserved it (4166)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43170) - you deserved it (12561)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56931) - you deserved it (9859)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44229) - you deserved it (8691)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: