Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

znorbnix

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

znorbnix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4790
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.

znorbnix's page activity

Visits<b>ashesofempires04</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 4:55am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>EnEl_Infierno</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 12:26am

znorbnix's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of znorbnix's badges

znorbnix's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7014) - you deserved it (36594)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13410) - you deserved it (33054)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

#13990251
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33845) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

#13974897
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (21884)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML

#13962286
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35269) - you deserved it (13073)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by ryansmithho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33183) - you deserved it (3681)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8389) - you deserved it (57605)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (12463)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (3995)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8805) - you deserved it (31833)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

#13773791
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (4816)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

#13759888
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (10612)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

#13733539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8421) - you deserved it (29922)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

#13698951
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6485) - you deserved it (52718)

On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: