About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57936) - you deserved it (3582)
On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7675) - you deserved it (47588)
On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18270) - you deserved it (21495)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (2523)
On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)
Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (5253)
On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (122908)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (4758)
On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6942) - you deserved it (58392)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (56234)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6072) - you deserved it (36533)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50685) - you deserved it (2005)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot, I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9912) - you deserved it (26461)
On 08/15/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by wimp (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (10657)
On 08/14/2009 at 6:28pm - money - by scfead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7671) - you deserved it (95187)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6918) - you deserved it (35480)
On 08/13/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by Distracted (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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