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znorbnix

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znorbnix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5264
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.

znorbnix's page activity

Visits<b>ashesofempires04</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 4:55am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>EnEl_Infierno</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 12:26am

znorbnix's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of znorbnix's badges

znorbnix's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (7274)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33309) - you deserved it (3934)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (3408)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41263) - you deserved it (4795)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (4569)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51461) - you deserved it (4988)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (4422)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (41660)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (7184)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (5494)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (8868)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51902) - you deserved it (21208)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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