About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (37688)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49399) - you deserved it (9469)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59582) - you deserved it (6809)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (2710)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (15682)
On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (60598)
On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52245) - you deserved it (6809)
On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35673) - you deserved it (12261)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43792) - you deserved it (3709)
On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (7803)
On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37444) - you deserved it (7307)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (5040)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37779) - you deserved it (10790)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (8693)
On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (14920)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Monday 20 May 2013
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