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znorbnix

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znorbnix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4104
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.

znorbnix's page activity

Visits<b>ashesofempires04</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 4:55am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>EnEl_Infierno</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 12:26am

znorbnix's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of znorbnix's badges

znorbnix's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (4559)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56425) - you deserved it (41716)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57198) - you deserved it (7191)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (3457)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (6678)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

#21198697
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm - misc - by fleatitting fame (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51997) - you deserved it (4728)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46381) - you deserved it (6407)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40370) - you deserved it (3010)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44810) - you deserved it (6289)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (52248)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55724) - you deserved it (7128)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)



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