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znorbnix

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znorbnix

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8049
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About znorbnix : Su'cuy, aruetiise. Ni dral darjetii.

znorbnix's page activity

Visits<b>ashesofempires04</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 4:55am<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 9:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>EnEl_Infierno</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 12:26am

znorbnix's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of znorbnix's badges

znorbnix's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

#21525372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15634) - you deserved it (4593)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:50am - love - by oblivious idiot -

Today, after my fiancé of seven years and the father of our four kids broke up with me, saying he slept with another girl but not to worry, he thought about me the whole time and still wants to marry me one day, it turns out he's moved to another state. FML

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (3825)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (6689)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (1741)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

#21521010
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/30/2016 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML

#21520859
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11761) - you deserved it (24701)

On 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm - love - by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

#21519950
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (1921)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:59am - work - by NotYourToy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

#21517155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11691) - you deserved it (20673)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14674) - you deserved it (26696)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

#21515709
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (2319)

On 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm - love - by Gamergirl137 - United States (California)

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (12988)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia



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