Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zinoxity

Search for a member

zinoxity
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2279
  • Number of comments : 319
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About zinoxity : Hey there ;)

zinoxity's last visitors

ireply_wlyricsTezomaironfeym22100silverstream20jonelle0FuckkSamTraitoro

zinoxity's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of zinoxity's badges

zinoxity's favorite FMLs

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

#18206362
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27059) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm - misc - by Noslo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (43157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41441) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52819) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48380) - you deserved it (3773)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48380) - you deserved it (3773)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

#15129927
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13381) - you deserved it (47493)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (43071)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

#14920871
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/10/2011 at 9:55am - work - by theothercassie -

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

#13777488
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (5186)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by redlips - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (40731)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

#13145609
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (4535)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (1987)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: