Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zinoxity

Search for a member

zinoxity

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2580
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About zinoxity : Hey there :)

Feel free to message me for whatever reason. I love to talk :D

zinoxity's page activity

Visits<b>amansingh</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:10pm<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:36pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:00pm<b>juliette3219</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:40pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 5:53am<b>Dogfoodlid</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:44am<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:54pm<b>kikihp731</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:23pm<b>shudson186</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:54pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:51pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:15pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:06pm<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:32pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:48pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:11pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:44pm

zinoxity's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zinoxity's badges

zinoxity's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34770) - you deserved it (16972)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41582) - you deserved it (11980)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
167 comments

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41499) - you deserved it (7857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47314) - you deserved it (17165)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66532) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (59787)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74695) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19095) - you deserved it (46537)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11138) - you deserved it (38817)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (39145)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37099) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (2396)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: