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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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zinoxity

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zinoxity
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1271
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About zinoxity : I drew the picture on my profile pic.

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zinoxity's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (6314) - you deserved it (1208)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12136) - you deserved it (1038)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (5555) - you deserved it (1131)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (5806) - you deserved it (1485)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (26626)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (3594) - you deserved it (12055)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (3383) - you deserved it (18687)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

#18206362 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (8941) - you deserved it (1010)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm - misc - by Noslo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (13433) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (12730) - you deserved it (31644) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

#17461344 (451)

I agree, your life sucks (9574) - you deserved it (27732)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (737)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710 (597)

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (19915)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (2797)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

#15129927 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (9956) - you deserved it (34693)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)