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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98220) - you deserved it (4182)
On 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Julie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73339) - you deserved it (24476)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193838) - you deserved it (21256)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (322669) - you deserved it (28033)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108342) - you deserved it (5319)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314482) - you deserved it (41298)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73205) - you deserved it (7624)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70776) - you deserved it (8940)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71634) - you deserved it (4343)
On 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by paymeinhugs - United States (New York)
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
I agree, your life sucks (159467) - you deserved it (19615)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65171) - you deserved it (22205)
On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96662) - you deserved it (11666)
On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111444) - you deserved it (14772)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (117510) - you deserved it (11136)
On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77505) - you deserved it (20759)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Monday 17 June 2013
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