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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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zavanna

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zavanna
  • Town/Country : Somewhere laughing out loud, Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5043
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262 (431)

I agree, your life sucks (4362) - you deserved it (55691)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (5218)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (26992)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57267) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (1990)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

#5825697 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (1513)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:20am - misc - by flipraff101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (2104)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

#2867834 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (6858)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

#2531202 (627)

I agree, your life sucks (96444) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (2518)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (73919)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (44504)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

#1653783 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (44477) - you deserved it (6473)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (168622) - you deserved it (8586)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

#1602310 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (52209) - you deserved it (5061)

On 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm - health - by Cherub (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)