zachherbert

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zachherbert

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4600
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>Ginger_Love</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Random737193</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:16pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:28pm<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:23pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:11am<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:28am<b>TDE_rogeliooh</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:46pm<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Saub</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:41pm<b>NewTrustIssues</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:33am<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:43am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am<b>jimmy_cucumber</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:04pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:39am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:23pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

by biggirlsdocry / 03/06/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

by beernuts / 03/06/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Health

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

by mark / 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

by none / 02/28/2012 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

by Eric / 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 3:00pm / Canada / Love

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

by mew / 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

by dolceconfuoco / 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

by pvtcab / 10/05/2011 at 2:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Money