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zachherbert

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zachherbert
  • Town/Country : MO, 'Merica!
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2271
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

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zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10567) - you deserved it (35216)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

#19511364
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14077) - you deserved it (4582)

On 04/22/2012 at 2:14pm - love - by Coquette (woman) - United States

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

#19503587
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (30884)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm - money - by ... (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

#19478625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (1585)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12206) - you deserved it (20604)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

#19307115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7385) - you deserved it (40256)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
192 comments

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (2272)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (2272)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (5516) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
92 comments

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
92 comments

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8276) - you deserved it (50924)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (2905)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States



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