zachherbert

Search for a member

zachherbert

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4406
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>Random737193</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:16pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:28pm<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:23pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:11am<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:28am<b>TDE_rogeliooh</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:46pm<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Saub</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:41pm<b>NewTrustIssues</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:33am<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:43am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am<b>jimmy_cucumber</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:04pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:39am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 8:15pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:18pm

Fucked!<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:23pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

by Ouch / 05/20/2012 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

by karmafails / 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

by davincourt / 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

by suhleedah18 / 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

by suhleedah18 / 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

by beleria / 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous