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zachherbert

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zachherbert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2662
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:21am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:01am<b>kino22x</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:07pm<b>xDeathgun</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:19am<b>justacomment</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:13am<b>Curtis66</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:46am<b>Bombegranite</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>kyndrazacherl</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:28pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:18am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:41pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:42am<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:14pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:04pm<b>wardgustavo</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:23pm<b>fefemooms</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:49am

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (21953)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8320) - you deserved it (34261)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6074) - you deserved it (27272)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37882) - you deserved it (3967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (2747)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

#19558757
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18278) - you deserved it (1649)

On 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (3397)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

#19558069
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (1985)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

#19548307
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (5823)

On 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

#19548071
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (2511)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (4314)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (4314)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (5478)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (5478)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (2427)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States



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