zachherbert

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zachherbert

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4737
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Arnvs</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 8:42pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 4:11am<b>Ginger_Love</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Random737193</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:16pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:28pm<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:23pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:11am<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:28am<b>TDE_rogeliooh</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:46pm<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Saub</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:41pm<b>NewTrustIssues</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:33am<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:43am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am

Fucked!<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:23pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 2:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

by Swivel / 06/07/2012 at 8:17am / Singapore / Work

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

by anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 7:00am / United States / Animals

Today, I went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and we started chatting over dinner. That's when he told me about his paranoia, and how he's unsure if I'm out to get him or not. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 12:12am / Singapore / Love

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

by C0r1nn3 / 06/07/2012 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

by unacceptable / 06/04/2012 at 11:02am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

by kay / 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

by joanne / 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

by bear / 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm / Norway (Nordland) / Health

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous