Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zachherbert

Search for a member

zachherbert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2680
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:53pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:21am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:01am<b>kino22x</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:07pm<b>xDeathgun</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:19am<b>justacomment</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:13am<b>Curtis66</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:46am<b>Bombegranite</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>kyndrazacherl</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:28pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:18am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:41pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:42am<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:14pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:04pm<b>wardgustavo</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:23pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2924)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

#19796326
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14542) - you deserved it (20511)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:44am - misc - by sadphonegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (2231)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (2231)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (5472)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

#19786786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24086) - you deserved it (2167)

On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (4407)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (6637)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12746) - you deserved it (23071)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10465) - you deserved it (30154)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (15487)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

#19782918
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (2125)

On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40782) - you deserved it (3868)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31713) - you deserved it (2332)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21655) - you deserved it (2745)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: