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zachherbert

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zachherbert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2822
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>chrissapp</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 10:20am<b>NegativeAttitude</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:18pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:16pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:29pm<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:53pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:21am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:01am<b>kino22x</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:07pm<b>xDeathgun</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:19am<b>justacomment</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:13am<b>Curtis66</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:46am<b>Bombegranite</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>kyndrazacherl</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:28pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:18am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:41pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2241)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (5309)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3067)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (2575)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (8037)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (3866)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (3080)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

#19824273
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21629) - you deserved it (9862)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by igiveup (man) - United States

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (2995)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (5808)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9822) - you deserved it (49110)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML



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