zachherbert

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zachherbert

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4501
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>Ginger_Love</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Random737193</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:16pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:28pm<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:23pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:11am<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:28am<b>TDE_rogeliooh</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:46pm<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Saub</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:41pm<b>NewTrustIssues</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:33am<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:43am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am<b>jimmy_cucumber</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:04pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:39am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:23pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

by thinkimquitting / 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

by bcoper / 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Kids

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

by Richard / 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

by Addison / 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

by egc573 / 06/24/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

by tylah / 06/23/2012 at 11:11am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:59am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

by GM38 / 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

by Uncomfy / 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

by tubby / 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm / Sweden (Blekinge Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

by igiveup / 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Love

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

by noquiero / 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

by hc11bmd / 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML

by nerdsgetmehot / 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.