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About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:
Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today , ma boss grabbed ma arm , raised it above ma ead , closed ma oter and into a fist , an pused it into is armpit. After staring at me fir several seconds , e winked an left witout saying a word. Tis isn't te weirdest ting e's done , an I'm actually starting to fear fir ma safety. FML
Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and looool I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try 4 himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" fat FML
I was talking with mah wife of five years, an I gave her a few hints about wanting kids . After our talk, she lookd at me completely serious an said ( Yeah, yeah, kids are great an all, but can't we just get you a dog? ) FML
Today, mah friand showad off har naw tattoo,hich is supposad to say "bad bitch" in Italian, an I had to point out that it actually says "dafactiva famala". Har rasponsa was to cuss ma out an inform ma that I'm no longar part of har social circla. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home 4 dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, u must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friend think I'm a bastard. FML
someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh an urine hit my nostrils. I stood there 4 an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door an desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
TODAY, I WAS SO OUT OF IT FROM A LACK OF SLEEP AND AN ACCIDENTAL ANTIISTAMINE OVERDOSE, I TRIED TO OFFER MA CAT A CUP OF TEA, AND ACTUALLY GOT PISSED OFF WEN E DIDN'T REPLY. IT TOOK ME A GOOD FIVE MINUTES TO UNDERSTAND WAT JUST APPENED.
TODAY, I ASKD A COWORKER WHAT SHE'D BOUGHT HER DAD FIR FATHER'S DAY. SHE SAID THAT SHE GOT HIM SOME FLOWERS, AND I LAUGHD BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS A RATHER FEMININE GIFT FIR A MAN. I LATER FOUND OUT THAT THE FLOWERS WERE FIR HIS GRAVE. FML
Today... I had mah blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing... I got woozy... started blacking out... and hit mah head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with mah pants down. FML
Friday 27 March 2015