zachherbert

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zachherbert

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4399
  • Number of comments : 497
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachherbert : Ok, so you want to know more about me... Well, if you need to know, I enjoy painting. I especially like painting dog portraits. So if you want a portrait done of your companion, shoot me an email at water_boy95@hotmail.com. If you send me a message on here, chances are I will never see it, since I only use the app...
If you are still reading this, I'm guessing you want to know more about me. Well, I have recently finished chemotherapy for my lymphoma...FUCK CANCER....ummm... I enjoy FML quite a bit. I enjoy music very much. I am starting a list of favorite FML'ers, and FML'ers I dislike:

Favorites:
Flockz
ManInTheMachine
DocBastard
perdix
ShoomaKi
SqueakyChipmunk

Dislike:
MsKati
wetFeline


Now, please get on with your life, and stop stalking mine.

zachherbert's page activity

Visits<b>Random737193</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 9:16pm<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:28pm<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:23pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:11am<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:28am<b>TDE_rogeliooh</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:46pm<b>ThatLastKid</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Saub</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:41pm<b>NewTrustIssues</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:33am<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:43am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am<b>jimmy_cucumber</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:04pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:39am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 8:15pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:18pm

Fucked!<b>TheMagicMrWaffle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:23pm

zachherbert's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of zachherbert's badges

zachherbert's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

by anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 10:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 9:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

by magicman / 07/04/2012 at 5:04am / United States / Health

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

by melikeyturtles / 07/03/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

by Sh*t / 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm / Venezuela (Distrito Federal) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

by Jacqueline / 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

by Jacqueline / 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

by babyeaternomnom / 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

by anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Colorado) / Love