z3vil

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z3vil

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 June 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1642
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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z3vil's page activity

Visits<b>matthewwehttam</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:14am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:27am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:39pm<b>captain_mal</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:56am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:30pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:07am<b>Lumen94</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:29pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:01pm<b>c_miller777</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:37pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:57pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:28pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:33pm<b>Screwie</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 5:27pm<b>gillygills</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 11:17am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 6:49pm<b>TheOrangeVortex</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:57am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 7:23pm<b>sublime420</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 7:21pm

z3vil's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of z3vil's badges

z3vil's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML

by anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

by kate / 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 7:49am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy