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z3vil

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z3vil

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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z3vil's page activity

Visits<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:07am<b>Lumen94</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:29pm<b>matthewwehttam</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:08am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:01pm<b>c_miller777</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:37pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:57pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:28pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:33pm<b>Screwie</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 5:27pm<b>gillygills</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 11:17am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 6:49pm<b>TheOrangeVortex</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:57am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 7:23pm<b>sublime420</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 7:21pm

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z3vil's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45000) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62218) - you deserved it (4975)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (2779)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (2108)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51708) - you deserved it (17564)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (5280)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

#13738415
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (8777)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by anonymous_0505 (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9976) - you deserved it (32926)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17140) - you deserved it (67997)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (37268)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (36922)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7872) - you deserved it (124089)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

#5792064
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (3882)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:38am - work - by Undercover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (86711)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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