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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2132
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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z3vil's page activity

Visits<b>matthewwehttam</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:14am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:27am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:39pm<b>captain_mal</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:56am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:30pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:07am<b>Lumen94</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:29pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:01pm<b>c_miller777</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:37pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:57pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:28pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:33pm<b>Screwie</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 5:27pm<b>gillygills</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 11:17am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/19/2011 at 6:49pm<b>TheOrangeVortex</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:57am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 7:23pm<b>sublime420</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 7:21pm

z3vil's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of z3vil's badges

z3vil's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

by katie / 05/25/2011 at 4:23am / Intimacy

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

by anonymous_0505 / 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Love

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

by squirrel / 01/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

by Molly / 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

by stewhart / 10/24/2009 at 3:25am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

by Undercover / 10/12/2009 at 4:38am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous