Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About yupitssoph : Lover of furry animals, cross country and intersectional feminism.
Holla @ me
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I went to a yard sale an found a cute plush duck!! I sent a pic of it to mah friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she calld me up all excitd, thinking mah boyfriend of 6 years finally proposd to me!! "No, I said, I just found a big duck fir $1." FML
Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady cummed to mah register to return a pair ofhite pants. I asked herhat was wrong with them an she replied "evenhen I had underwear on u could still see mah pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML
Today, I came home from work an had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom an ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket an started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peieng on his cell. FML
Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating . There's a big hole in the middle of the floor . When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack . I drew back mah leg and looked down to see mah brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror . FML
Today, I asked mah Swedish friend 4 some lines to impress this swedish grl I met at an expat party he took me to . I practised them all evening before I met her . I told her mah feelings, and she scowled . Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face . FML
Today ma mom walks into ma room wit a serious look on er face asks me "Wen a man is getting it from beind te man on top orgasms but wat appens to te man on bottom? Do u tink e takes care of imself or wat?" Hand motions were included . FML
today we got ma broter a pet amster because e as trouble making friends. We tougt a amster would be a good way to teac im about caring fir oters. I walked into te room an te amster was anging from te ceiling. Turns out tere's a reason ma broter doesn't ave friends. FML
Today I had the closing shift at work in a cafe an there was a man an lady left. I made them coffee an started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed mah arm an said 'I think that man is masturbating' an leaves in a hurry. I had to wait 4 him to finish before closing. FML
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on mah phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
yesterday after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to mah cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am mah boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: ( the cat is sad. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015