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yeezheng

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yeezheng
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 3967
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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yeezheng's favorite FMLs

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

#18042854
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11564) - you deserved it (46445)

On 10/22/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (2268)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (2340)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (8482)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (6108)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (6108)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (8142)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

#18012444
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (5522)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (California)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (4700)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29151) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (10070)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

#17980365
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (3317)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)



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