yeezheng

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yeezheng

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7308
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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yeezheng's page activity

Visits<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:20pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:18pm<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:20pm<b>ShooperShweggy</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:04am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:21pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:55am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:22pm<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:01pm<b>brssps1</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:41pm<b>dragonfire5665</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:16am<b>basketball349</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:41am<b>curticus</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:01pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:24pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 1:14pm<b>Firewielder</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:32am<b>Pauliewood</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 4:25pm<b>SaraJun</b> - the 11/19/2011 at 10:26am

yeezheng's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yeezheng's badges

yeezheng's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

by stitchesupmyass / 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

by silkysmooth / 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 8:25am / United States / Kids

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Texas) / Love