yeezheng

Search for a member

yeezheng

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7407
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

yeezheng's page activity

Visits<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 12:20pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:18pm<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:20pm<b>ShooperShweggy</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:04am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:21pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:55am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:22pm<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:01pm<b>brssps1</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:41pm<b>dragonfire5665</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:16am<b>basketball349</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:41am<b>curticus</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:01pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:24pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 1:14pm<b>Firewielder</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:32am<b>Pauliewood</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 4:25pm<b>SaraJun</b> - the 11/19/2011 at 10:26am

yeezheng's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yeezheng's badges

yeezheng's favorite FMLs

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

by stinkypants / 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm / India / Health

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

by stinkypants / 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm / India / Health

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

by explainer / 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids