This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (4237)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7862) - you deserved it (32305)
On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (2066)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (13396)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34079) - you deserved it (11974)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (29678)
On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (7669)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (3717)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (2351)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32941) - you deserved it (4315)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (6179)
On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (6179)
On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (4077)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30587) - you deserved it (7014)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
