Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxquiglxx

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 6:16am) | Search for a member

xxquiglxx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xxquiglxx's page activity

Visits<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 5:52am<b>sisw</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 4:52am

xxquiglxx's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of xxquiglxx's badges

xxquiglxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110733) - you deserved it (15429)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (4248)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (4811)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40319) - you deserved it (4116)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49090) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

#14461663
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39334) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/04/2011 at 9:49am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10978) - you deserved it (31882)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (6084)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59718) - you deserved it (8802)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (9680)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

#10899108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (4690)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:35am - love - by AbFlab (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48919) - you deserved it (9608)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: