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xxquiglxx

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xxquiglxx
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 211
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxquiglxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14348) - you deserved it (2613)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16326) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

#19087811
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (1697)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (37901)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13690) - you deserved it (36471)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (68944)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44321) - you deserved it (2171)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

#17305922
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34510) - you deserved it (3003)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

#17066574
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2564)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103008) - you deserved it (13934)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35831) - you deserved it (4156)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (3502)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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