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Judgmental
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Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (2814)
On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48977) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (2381)
On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15629) - you deserved it (10441)
On 07/02/2012 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14525) - you deserved it (2304)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (1256)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16150) - you deserved it (28388)
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you deserved it (27860)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (52585)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (3772)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (18163)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30640) - you deserved it (2760)
On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (1949)
On 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm - work - by Username - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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