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xxquiglxx

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xxquiglxx
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 212
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxquiglxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (5899)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16467) - you deserved it (821)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (3220)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17046) - you deserved it (1165)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16930) - you deserved it (1521)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (1242)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (2433)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71969) - you deserved it (8402)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (3873)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (1907)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (2536)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

#19880614
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17572) - you deserved it (11439)

On 07/02/2012 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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