About xponia : Electronic music producer from Seattle.
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Judgmental
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Mobility
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Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6368) - you deserved it (22996)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5151) - you deserved it (17456)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (2503)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (13537)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (3051)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (9244)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20741) - you deserved it (2302)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that I have to work Christmas Day. There's no public transport running and taxis are triple fare. It'll cost me more getting to work than I'll actually earn during the shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (1387)
On 12/24/2009 at 6:20am - work - by Barstaff (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (4716)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10262) - you deserved it (25839)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14833) - you deserved it (66478)
On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (5901)
On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (2158)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21324) - you deserved it (2117)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31264) - you deserved it (1952)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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