Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xponia

Search for a member

xponia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 900
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About xponia : Electronic music producer from Seattle.

xponia's page activity

Visits<b>jello_tits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:54am<b>omygoshtodayI</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:15am<b>potatochocolate</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 9:30pm<b>damiano1212</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:05pm<b>ashabieber11</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:32pm

xponia's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of xponia's badges

xponia's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

#18471857
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (18851)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

#18236963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (2185)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by mandie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

#18037491
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (2128)

On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6885) - you deserved it (48744)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (4175)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (56846)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25131) - you deserved it (2977)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (8348)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (29533)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (65863)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: