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xponia

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xponia

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 815
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About xponia : Electronic music producer from Seattle.

xponia's page activity

Visits<b>jello_tits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:54am<b>omygoshtodayI</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:15am<b>potatochocolate</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 9:30pm<b>damiano1212</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:05pm<b>ashabieber11</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:32pm

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xponia's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11127) - you deserved it (36366)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (1915)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17638) - you deserved it (30835) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46120) - you deserved it (8848)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8406) - you deserved it (54746)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (1699)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (52926)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (1801)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (1984)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (4864)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

#18810141
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (2263)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by ohlordhelpmenow (woman) - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (3222)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States



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