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xponia

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xponia

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 641
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About xponia : Electronic music producer from Seattle.

xponia's page activity

Visits<b>jello_tits</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:54am<b>omygoshtodayI</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:15am<b>potatochocolate</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 9:30pm<b>damiano1212</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:05pm<b>ashabieber11</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:32pm

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xponia's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (24982)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (1767)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8832) - you deserved it (66578)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12329) - you deserved it (25989)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (4213) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (2300)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10042) - you deserved it (24482)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17638) - you deserved it (1992)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (5834)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22433) - you deserved it (1509)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (1462)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (4239)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States



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