Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xoAbiox

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

xoAbiox

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1462
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xoAbiox's page activity

Visits<b>jrod9327</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:09pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:00pm<b>rarsome</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:25pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:11am<b>hybridpordigy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:01am<b>foreveralone83</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:33am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:09am<b>softie123</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:39pm<b>cearacomeau</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:40pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 5:54pm<b>chasedavison</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 3:42pm<b>slickvic</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 4:18am<b>sniken</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19pm<b>whwc</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 6:16pm<b>CheckMyProfile</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 5:17pm<b>fadi5</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 3:48pm

xoAbiox's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xoAbiox's badges

xoAbiox's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41147) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)

Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (4999)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (7537)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58585) - you deserved it (8297)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51839) - you deserved it (6930)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48374) - you deserved it (5466)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65499) - you deserved it (32805)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

#21102998
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47113) - you deserved it (6462)

On 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46892) - you deserved it (34471)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (6442)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39680) - you deserved it (3015)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

#21092678
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (3990)

On 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (9787)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: